okay it seems that someone acording to comments wants me to do some drugs when i am bored. hugs not drugs. but wait a sec. my mouse trail says razor blades replace hugs. but then jew would kill me. so what does that mean ?

my anti drug is = hugs

my anti hug = razorblades

my anti razorblades = julien.

so that would mean the saying would be "jew not drugs" hmmmm yea i think.

hey.

yesterday: loads of fun. julien rocks so much you guys have no clue. i will spear you from the details. but i will say that when a guy picks you up and kisses you in an old abandoned buliding its the most awesome &n bsp;thing ever.

today: shannon came back and we hug out at the park and it was so awesome and we were stalking these 2 ghetto guys that we named tim and stacey. good times good times.... 

its currently 2:09, in about 2  and a half hours ill be having fun, right now, im just bored out of my mined.... i kind of just want to tell you all my thoughts to see what you guys think. ill probally put some random quotes in here too. . .

 to start off i keep falling today. this morning off my bed, triping over a broom 5 times and falling down the steps outside my house. oh and did i mention today all ive eaten is 4 peices of gum ? that i choked on several times and had to replace it with new gum ?

today as i was listening to one of my fav bands. underoath i was dancing around with the broom, i had it cause i was soposed to be sweeping the kitchen, but when your alone, and a great song is blasting it is so much more apealing to dance then to sweep. and when i say dance i mean jumping a whole lot and some times spining around as i jump.

then i was wondering... if i had seem my self doing that when i was younger what would i have thought ? what would i have thought if i knew what directions my life had taken. i dont think i ever could have imagened who i am now.

i also wonder what i will think of who i am when im older. will i regret things im doing now? or will i be thankfull for the exsperince? hmmm ...only time will tell....

" we've done this wrong. we're to far gone, these sheets smell of regret"

" if you love someone put they're name in a circle not a heart, a heart can be broken but a circle never ends" 

" you do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around, cause thats what it's all about" .....is it really ??????

okay well im going to go talk to some people on aim now see ya all!

   *if you dont comment i will eat your first born childeren*

       all the fucking time..........

thoughts

    & nbsp;   &n bsp;   &nb sp;   &nbs p;     ;   by me

some where deep inside my head,

lie the dreams of blood so red,

running down my ghost pale skin,

this is the saddist ive ever been,

there is cold feeling that fills my soal,

in my heart i feel a hole,

these thoughts are way to real,

dose any one understand how i feel ?

and even thow my eyes are wetter,

the pain makes things so much better.

dont listen to the time frame up at the top its wrong.

it's 11:18 am .......Jew is coming over at 4:30!  im all happy! he he.

oh and i found a pink crayon! its like that book harold and the purple crayon !!!!!!!! my book will be hope and the pink crayon!!!!

i went threw all my closets and draws to find something fun! im wearing these really awesome pants with buckles down the side and this shirt thats like sleaveless at the sholders but then it has red sleaves with holes. for some reason what i wear on rainy days matters more then sunny days. fashion anticipates and eligance is a state of mind. i belive that the way i look reflects my soal and lets others peer into it. although i never want to be judged on how i look alone, i'd like it to be included.

ill post later on today with somemore updates of what ive been doing.

   HAPPY STUFF WAITING FOR ME TOMARROW !!!

• shannon; my best friend is comeing home!


• julien is coming over!


• im wearing really cool pants tomarrow.


• julien is coming over!


• my dads actually making breckfast (he's a REALLY good cook and i ushally sleep late but he's waking me up early)


• did i mention julien is coming over ?

tehehehehehehehehehehe, i only wish i had a crayon

"hey unfaithful. hey ungraceful hey unloving i will love you ! "

hey everyone! i had a very good thing happen yesterday !!!!! the guy who i love with all my heart said he loved me!!!! YAY its a happy day!!!!  

i dont know how 3 little words could mean so much!!! i like feel off my couch when he said it i was like " VICTORY IS MINE !!!!" 

but you see, in order to keep me on his good side i made some promises that are some what hard to keep but i beleve if i try hard enof i will be strong enof to pull it off !

" hey unfaithfull i will teach you to be stronger"

 " hey unfaithfull i will teach you to be stronger" :roll:  aim:BuddyIcon?ScreenName= XClashPrincessX

i am getting stronger. ive said so many things latley that i never thought i could have said. ive done so many things  i thought i never could do and im getting so much better. ive even agreed to stop cutting and to stop renching anything i eat or not eating at all. yea folks im admitting i have a problem. oh well so what ? lots of people have problems. im not alone ! and things are getting better. ever since mat dumped me ive been more myself and im thankfull for that. i hate being so fake, i realised i love someone now, that ive had a crush on for a while, and ive been making yamicas for him allday! when you love some one make them some yamicas! its fun !  and it kills time on boring days!   i feel better ! yay !

why hello every one! wow this week has been quite the confusing one so far and its all leading up to friday *drumrole*  heths party... this is going to be fun! heh having kev and the jew in the same place... very risky buisness i must say. lol i sound so brittish. will they strangle eachother? will mika get to talk to the jew ? hmmm place your bets ladys and gents ! who will win? the really hot guy with the peircings? or the hot guy who claims that he's not emo but sooooo is? well let me tell you a bit about both guys...

the jew- the jew is his nickname because well he's a jew. he has 5 pearicings. he is hilarous. he likes metal and punk. its funny that he's such a jew because he hates god with a pashion.  he is obsessed with slipknot, he knows evey word in every song. he plays guitar. he's a great friend. he's been through alot so he knowa what its like.  i can talk to him about anything and we have conversations that go on for hours. hes allways there when i need him and hes going to kill me if i cut myself agien...heh. well like i said hes a great person.

kev- short for kevin. hes hot in an emo sort of way. he's a sweet guy and hes allways there but i find it hard to tell him some things i dont know why. it's not that he dosnt care because he does. he says he loves me and i belive it, although i also belive that guys (espeshlly teenagers) will say anything to get in your pantallones. kev loves boxing. he's a good writer. he likes photagrafy, hes not really smart but oh well. he has a horrible memory but thats funny. he makes me laugh when i feel like crying. and he makes me cry when he's being sweet and making me wish i could be like that and say things like that. and think things like that and stop being the bitch i am and stop walking down this path of mistakes... but im just a confused little girl and something new always pops up. 

so i really need your help. messige me and tell me which one you think is the better guy. ill post the answers soon and then what really happens.

hey every one ! this is my 1st entry on this sight. i guess i should introduce myself. my name is Hope. my joke is im your only hope because chances are you dont know to many other girls named hope now do you ? espeshlly girls like me.  im a bit confused. im part punk part metal head. im very into music. i play both the guitar and drums allthough im not that great. i love bands like kittie that prove girls can rock just as much as guys! i mean honestly most guys cant even rock that hard! some of my other fav. bands are hatebreed, system of a down, slipknot, and lamb of god. i also love punk rock, i love antiflag an nofx and i like emo sometimes. like dashbored, fallout boy pritty girls make graves and all american rejects. oh i forgot screamo i absullutly love underoath. they are the best. i also love art. ART = LIFE!!!!!!! i love to draw manga. i also draw with other styles and i sculpt, paint and do printing. i cant wait till next year cause my dads friend lindy is going to be my teacher, even though next year is going to suck because almost all my friends are going to a diffrent school.  i like writing as well. it's the best, i love to write storys and some days im going to write my own mangas,  or possibly go into fashion cause that rocks too. who knows? well that's all for now ....more tomarrow!